


Mr. Grey's List of Firsts

by Midnight Wolf (Larkawolfgirl)



Category: Fifty Shades of Grey - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Dark Comedy, F/M, Parody, Unexpected humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 02:44:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4042723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Midnight%20Wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know some of Christian Grey's firsts with Ana, but I bet you don't know about these.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr. Grey's List of Firsts

You are the first person I’ve ever worn my tie on backwards around.

You are the first person I’ve ever poked in the eye with my nose.

You are the first person I’ve experience erectile dysfunction with.

You are the first person I’ve picked my teeth in front of.

You are the first person I’ve done it with in the cemetery only to discover that there really are ghosts.

You are the first person who’s peed on me because of a jellyfish sting.

You are the first person I’ve been with during a poltergeist.

You are the first person I have fallen into the toilet during sex with.

You are the first person I’ve ever seen sucked into a portal.

You are the first person I’ve been around while having so much earwax.

You are the first person I’ve had sex with who was possessed.

You are the first person I’ve farted in the same room with.

You are the first person I’ve had sex with while standing on my head.

You are the first person I’ve actually slipped on a banana peel in front of.

You are the first person to wash my hair with lice soap.

You are the first person I’ve had sex with while floating in the air.

You are the first person to suck snake poison out of me.

You are the first person I’ve ever wet myself in public in front of.

You are the first person I’ve spit up pea soup in front of.

You are the first person that I’ve worn my undies on the outside in front of.

You are the first person to see my head spin around.

You are the first person I’ve picked my nose in front of.

You are the first person I’ve had sex with on the ceiling.

You are the first person who’s dirty undies I’ve worn on my head.


End file.
